I'm sitting in our home and I know I need to get things done; but I also know that I need to spend time with my Father IN Heaven. 
I have so many things on my mind. Things like "how can I make a difference" here in this new place in my life? 
Can I, or will I be able to share the things in my life that mean so much to me; things that define me? And by the way what is it that does define me? How do people here perceive me? Do I intimidate them? Or do I look like someone they can trust? What can I do to share with others what it means to be a child of a King? There was a time when I thought that I could never, would never live without talking to my parents one day; much less 7mos. Or did I ever dream that the idea of not having my sister as part of my life, would be OK. Or that my children would live more than 1 hour away from me; much less 8hours. And that I would be happy with that. I recall a time not so long ago when the idea of even moving was a big NO WAY for me. That I would never leave Austin; much less a city. True I love the country; as long as I could get to everyone and everything within at least 30 minutes time. Then the kids grew and got lives of their own. The one hour away for one child turned into 6hrs. away. Then it was "how often" could I go visit Sarah; we were just beginning to get closer. Then came a husband and kids and a new way of life for her
. Then the baby grew up even faster
and moved first 4hrs. away. Joshua and I were so close; I never dreamed that I could stretch my arms so far. In 2 different directions. By the time all was said and done; not only is Joshua following "Gods' will" for him; but he moved even farther. Both had "lives" to live and adventures to do in life
. And I had to learn to let go and let God. When I begin to recall all the things in my life that God has given to me just the way I desired; then who am I to tell him no? There are things and times in my life that I wish would have gone differently; but overall I've been blessed
.
I have so many things on my mind. Things like "how can I make a difference" here in this new place in my life? Can I, or will I be able to share the things in my life that mean so much to me; things that define me? And by the way what is it that does define me? How do people here perceive me? Do I intimidate them? Or do I look like someone they can trust? What can I do to share with others what it means to be a child of a King? There was a time when I thought that I could never, would never live without talking to my parents one day; much less 7mos. Or did I ever dream that the idea of not having my sister as part of my life, would be OK. Or that my children would live more than 1 hour away from me; much less 8hours. And that I would be happy with that. I recall a time not so long ago when the idea of even moving was a big NO WAY for me. That I would never leave Austin; much less a city. True I love the country; as long as I could get to everyone and everything within at least 30 minutes time. Then the kids grew and got lives of their own. The one hour away for one child turned into 6hrs. away. Then it was "how often" could I go visit Sarah; we were just beginning to get closer. Then came a husband and kids and a new way of life for her. Then the baby grew up even faster and moved first 4hrs. away. Joshua and I were so close; I never dreamed that I could stretch my arms so far. In 2 different directions. By the time all was said and done; not only is Joshua following "Gods' will" for him; but he moved even farther. Both had "lives" to live and adventures to do in life. And I had to learn to let go and let God. When I begin to recall all the things in my life that God has given to me just the way I desired; then who am I to tell him no? There are things and times in my life that I wish would have gone differently; but overall I've been blessed. Ok, Ok.... I know it has been a long time and the above wanderings were done right after Christmas. I do hope that this finds everyone nice and cozy
. I've really been thinking about what last "year" was like; you know before my life took a "turn". And believe me it was a "U" turn; not just a simple around the corner type turn. A honest to goodness "life changing" event turn
. Yes I miss everyone of you in every little possible way. From the "calls" of "can you pick up...."? To my special time "out" with the girls. To all the "last minute" things that can possibly come up. I remember a few; "forgetting to blow out a candle"; left dog outside; dripping faucets when it got cold enough to freeze.
I loved doing all of those things; and believe it or not all those things were several people not just one. And I would do it all again.
. I've really been thinking about what last "year" was like; you know before my life took a "turn". And believe me it was a "U" turn; not just a simple around the corner type turn. A honest to goodness "life changing" event turn. Yes I miss everyone of you in every little possible way. From the "calls" of "can you pick up...."? To my special time "out" with the girls. To all the "last minute" things that can possibly come up. I remember a few; "forgetting to blow out a candle"; left dog outside; dripping faucets when it got cold enough to freeze. I loved doing all of those things; and believe it or not all those things were several people not just one. And I would do it all again. But God took me elsewhere. I'm still trying to figure out the "why me" part. Why the "tinie tiny town"? I still have a hard time believing that I can't even go to a "Michael's or Hobby Lobby"; no "Barnes & Nobles". They do have a "Burkes outlett" which by all accounts is a "tiny town's" version of a "Marshall's". Dale and I went to a movie the other night to see the current "Narnia" movie. We went to a small town; about 20 minutes maybe 30 from us, called Daingerfield. The movies cost us $1.50 each, the XLG popcorn was $3.75; and the special was the popcorn and 2 large drinks for $7.00. We could not believe our blessings. The theatre was older; but the ambiance was so awesome. And the people there so friendly. No uniforms; only a Police Officer to help. I felt like I stepped back in time to the "60's". And people that were waiting for the movie to begin actually talked to you. They turned around and said Hi. I've not had this experience ever. There is a funeral home in this same town where the owner lives "above" the business. It is too cool. Like I said I feel like I am living in the "past". It is almost like living in "Mayberry". All the shops around the town square do all sorts of things. One "mercantile" place does, dry cleaning, shoe repair, and tailoring as well as selling gifts of all types. There is a small Restaurant with white linen table cloths and the whole nine yards. Like I have said and continue to ask; why am I here? I mean I so appreciate the house and my in-laws are great. But the calamities, continue to follow me. Things like having to replace 3 out of 4 tires since we moved here. Asking for 1 horse and getting 3;
Dale burning the field not just once but twice. Now the volunteer "Fireman" know us by first name. I could go on but then I might be here a good part of the day. I have nothing but lots of peace and quiet around here. No "Malls" to run to. No trips to the grocery store. There is only 1 in Mount Vernon and 3 in Mount Pleasant. And yesterday every single one of them reminded me of Austin. For the first time shelves were emptying fast of water and other staples. First time I felt like I was close to Austin. And people were buying generator's. This is something Dale and I need to be looking to buy; as well as a "kerosun" heater. I'm learning; but the things we should get cost more than what we can do right now. So if the power goes out we will go to Dale's parents and sit by the wood stove. There are times I imagine what the "west" was like when people were starting out. Of course it's nothing like that for me; but having come from Austin to here, especially in bad weather with 
"livestock" to think about it sure feels like it. Oh well enough for now. I will try to write more soon. Take care and you are all always in my prayers. One thing is for sure; I depend more on God for answers than I ever have before.
. Why the "tinie tiny town"? I still have a hard time believing that I can't even go to a "Michael's or Hobby Lobby"; no "Barnes & Nobles". They do have a "Burkes outlett" which by all accounts is a "tiny town's" version of a "Marshall's". Dale and I went to a movie the other night to see the current "Narnia" movie. We went to a small town; about 20 minutes maybe 30 from us, called Daingerfield. The movies cost us $1.50 each, the XLG popcorn was $3.75; and the special was the popcorn and 2 large drinks for $7.00. We could not believe our blessings. The theatre was older; but the ambiance was so awesome. And the people there so friendly. No uniforms; only a Police Officer to help. I felt like I stepped back in time to the "60's". And people that were waiting for the movie to begin actually talked to you. They turned around and said Hi. I've not had this experience ever. There is a funeral home in this same town where the owner lives "above" the business. It is too cool. Like I said I feel like I am living in the "past". It is almost like living in "Mayberry". All the shops around the town square do all sorts of things. One "mercantile" place does, dry cleaning, shoe repair, and tailoring as well as selling gifts of all types. There is a small Restaurant with white linen table cloths and the whole nine yards. Like I have said and continue to ask; why am I here? I mean I so appreciate the house and my in-laws are great. But the calamities, continue to follow me. Things like having to replace 3 out of 4 tires since we moved here. Asking for 1 horse and getting 3; Dale burning the field not just once but twice. Now the volunteer "Fireman" know us by first name. I could go on but then I might be here a good part of the day. I have nothing but lots of peace and quiet around here. No "Malls" to run to. No trips to the grocery store. There is only 1 in Mount Vernon and 3 in Mount Pleasant. And yesterday every single one of them reminded me of Austin. For the first time shelves were emptying fast of water and other staples. First time I felt like I was close to Austin. And people were buying generator's. This is something Dale and I need to be looking to buy; as well as a "kerosun" heater. I'm learning; but the things we should get cost more than what we can do right now. So if the power goes out we will go to Dale's parents and sit by the wood stove. There are times I imagine what the "west" was like when people were starting out. Of course it's nothing like that for me; but having come from Austin to here, especially in bad weather with "livestock" to think about it sure feels like it. Oh well enough for now. I will try to write more soon. Take care and you are all always in my prayers. One thing is for sure; I depend more on God for answers than I ever have before.Hugs, & Blessings,
Karen
