Time

I had a job interview yesterday; the first since I've been here. Hope more will follow. Coming home I wanted to have some "time" to myself. And so I accidentally on purpose got lost. It did not matter to the cows or horses I saw as to what time or day it was. They could graze or sleep or play at any time. But they don't realize that due to what some humans choose to do for them; this is why they can afford the "time" to play. For about 45 minutes I was able to experience why it is that time is so precious. I mean think about it. When we get time to ourselves many of us use it "figuring out" what we need to do to finish the day or a project that needs completion. I have here lately tried using it for Thanking God for what I have; and for my situations. That I might learn from them and try again. I am not one to give in easily; especially if I need to "sit and be still" in order to learn. I love this "present" that God has blessed me with, mainly because when you unwrap your day; you never know how it will go. Today was so nice I even went out and helped to paint on MY picket fence. I tell you; it looks "mighty swanky". Out here I have heard "sayings" that I thought only existed in the movies. As you can tell this week has been all about being "still" for me. First because of the Mieniers attack and then to see what direction God would have me to go. I just learned of an exciting interview that I have coming up tomorrow. And that is to be a Teacher's Aid at an Elementary School. This to has been a desire of mine to do. I think that being a part of a wonderful group of "teachers" is awesome. That I might once again be able to be with Kids. To help them to grow and learn the "fun" things in life. Keep me prayed up; because this would really be fun.

Life as it is

I been fighting these last days with the Meineirs I have. There are times when I am very lucid and then there are the times I want to yell and scream. My head for the most part is attached at best as can be. For the rest of the time; I feel like I am carrying some "heavy stuff". I would just like to remove it so I can function. I called the Pharmacist and he suggested that I stay away from all those I love and lock myself in a dark room and sleep this off. I go through these up and down feelings of irritability and rage. Both of which Dale has gotten to participate in; (poor guy). I think at one point I could have actually bitten someone's head off. Now I think I know what "Ozzie Osborne" must of felt like; maybe not. Of course eatting an animal's head off is not the greatest of ideas at any time.

However I am learning what it means to just let go and let God. We have been here now for over a month; and none of Dale's "Uncles and Aunts"; with the exception of "Aunt Sue" have been buy. Several of them have gotten to be "well off" and are afraid you may need or want something from them. I wanted nothing but to hopefully have more family. But it is what it is. The most important people to me here are Dale's folks. It is very comforting to sit and watch Dale and his Dad paint our picket fence. I wonder what they would have said if I had decided to have a yellow or red fence. Probably would not have gone over to well. But I did choose white. It reminds me of peace and of who I want to be like. There are so many different colors that remind me of my walk with God and how I would love to "do" things for people to make them happy. Even in my own family; I cannot seem to reach that level with them. They live in San Antonio and I am here; but even before we moved we did not talk hardly. Normally I would have been sad or even upset; but I am finding a level of peace here that transcends anything that I would have dreamed about. It is for this I am so blessed to have been a part of someone else's life. People try to tell me that I am "shoving" feelings down; but I tell you I'm not. God is in my "neck of the woods" and when I sit outside and listen to the trees and the cows and all other "non" city noises; I am truly reminded of whom I belong to. And I know deep down that he will continue to carrry me. Have a great day.

Hugs.

Me

to Ponder

n Thu, May 27, 2010 at 7:55 PM, Karen Marti

PONDER.....this word is used allot around here; people like to "ponder" over just about everything. At first when I heard this I was irritated by it; but then I got to "thinking" and looked it up and it simply means to "take your time". And believe me here in the country we (now that I am one of them) ponder allot. The word "thinking implies" a type of work or to exert energy; but when you "ponder" you slow down.

I was watching my favorite cow "Karen" and I noticed how she was separate from the others; but she was also very content with this decision. She was perfectly happy with her own company. And I thought that I am like that I have come away from loving friends and placed in the middle of nowhere; now I have 2 choices,one is to be content with where God has placed me; and the other; well lets just say it would not serve to make life enjoyable in any way. For the longest time "Karen" kept getting out anyway she could. Even when the fences where fixed she tried. Then one day she stopped and I found her grazing in the field by herself and later "pondering" under a tree. This is where I am today; pondering what can I do to serve God and leave a "footprint" that he would be proud of. I watch Dale and his Dad put up my white ( I have to paint it first) pickett fence. In the heat they are working just so I will be content. I have made up my mind that I will "grow" where I am at. Heck I may even run for Mayor. But for now I will be content with what God has provided and know that he will continue to walk with me daily.

I finally met the child I came up to help out with; and have opened a whole can of worms. She has been labeled a "Preditor" by MHMR. And the only way she would be allowed to stay would be if the family were to rent another place to live. She is a danger to the baby, and the other 2 kids. When the Dad is gone the other 3 kids sleep with their Mom. I tried to talk to her and see if I would be able to connect with her in any way. But even I can't undo what has gone wrong with her. At least not with her around others. In all my years of childcare I never had to give up on anyone. She told her Dad and StepMom that if she did not get to leave and go to live with her GrandParents that she would "kill" again. CPS has allowed her to finish out the school year with the understanding that as soon as school is out (tomorrow) she must either go elsewhere or leave to live with her Grandparents. So now I will have 3 kids to care for and it pretty much is fairly normal. The couple I work for are very nice and very down to earth. I get to choose for the most part; which 3 days I want to work. So I am truly blessed. Pray for this child. God Bless you and yours.

Hugs,

Karen

Karen Martin

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

Richard L. Evans " -

Times Past

I have to admit these afternoon thunderstorms, bring life to a hault around these parts. Lights and TV and everything goes out. Thats when you bring out the games and we play board games or cards. Of course we could save on money and just shower while we're at it. No one would see us. Hmmm. I'll have to think on that a bit more.

I went to the store with my Mother In-Law; and got a bit of a history about these neck of the woods. I love to listen to her and hear about her days as a young girl growing up. Not all her stories are "funny or happy"; but they mean allot to her and for that I am so blessed to get to hear. I think I know about every piece of land out here and how most of her family and my Father In-Law's land was either taken or split. Now if you think for one minute I can recall it all; I suggest you sit down and have that thought again. Cause it ain't happening. I was surprised to learn of some of the things that she dealt with as a young girl, are in fact some of the same for today. They just handled the outcomes a bit differently. But there were "love stories" to be told and the sneaking out at night to meet with friends. But there was allot of walking and getting to places in a horse and carriage. There were no cars, no fancy bikes; on no it was you and your feet or your horse. They went to church in a wagon and would sit outside under the window to hear the sermon. There were allot of potlucks after church; mainly because people came so far. And school was for learning and if you got a "whipping" at school; well you had another one waiting at home for you. And back then you could trust Teacher's to be honest. Not only that but they even at times went to the same church as your family did. And when Dales' aunts were born; his Grandmother was in her 50's and it was a huge deal to have twins. You were the talk of the town. Not to forget to mention you were the one people wanted to see. Through my Mother in-laws eyes it was easy to imagine. The roads around her have not changed allot in of themselves. Instead of "horse and buggy" riding over them; you now have vehicles. And you can always tell the adults from the kids. The adults "saunter" and the kids try to see how fast they can "kill" a tire.

I love the word saunter. It brings to mind walks along the tree lined roads; or a walk through the woods with a straw hat in hand. The word itself depicts long summer days; with the smell of fresh rain on the horizon. It conjures up the picking of berries and looking for frogs. Of dogs running and playing tag with one another. It also gives me pictures of walking around the square in town. And we have some really cool ones. We even have weddings on the square. The people here are in no hurry to stop talking (my kind of folks); even people you need to call to get something fixed; will share a bit about themselves. And the grocery stores are not in a hurry to check you out. In some ways I really miss Austin and the "hurry up" attitude. But for me right now this will do just fine.

My meneers has been acting up lately. In fact I have had this latest attack since Wednesday. But I am getting better. If I were to opt for surgery I could very well loose my hearing. Not that it is all that great. But I do need what little I have. The Doctor feels that by the end of the weekend I will be totally fine. We think I triggered it by coming off of a medication that I had been on for over 10yrs. I promised myself that once I got out here I would come off of the medication. I just was not aware of the "side" effects associated with this. But it has been easier to do here. So now I get to ponder things I want to write about; while I meander through the pasture; and saunter by the ponds. Pretty good huh?? Well I need to go and turn in for the night. Talk to you on my next adventure.

Hugs and Blessings,

Me

Karen Martin

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

Richard L. Evans " -

Life in the "little township"

As I was walking through the pasture, I noticed for the first time in a long time; fireflies. Did you ever as a child catch these facinating bugs and watch them act as a "glow" light. I remember thinking that they were the most incredible thing ever created. And I thought to myself; am I like that bug does my light shine so others will see me. Do I reflect what God would want? I know that there have been many times lately that I have thought to myself; I think not. Don't get me wrong, I haven't done anything wrong; but I would like to go back in my life and redo some things. But since that is impossible, I do believe I will move forward and be the best "Lightening bug" you ever saw.

I have been really blessed here lately to get to see and smell what "being a kid" on a summer's night is like. Last weekend we had a family reunion and EVERYONE with kids and dogs in tow showed up. We had a total of 29 people and 15 dogs. It was pretty cool listening to the laughter of the kids and watching them run and try and catch fireflies. Grownups sitting outside on the deck and recalling some of our funniest moments in life, and in the meantime creating some more. Spitting watermelon seeds at one another is definitely not for the faint hearted. When you get hit by one you can feel it. And in the background to all this were dogs playing, either with one another or with a child or 3. The smell of the woods and freshly mowed hay. It was incredible. No one complained to much about the heat. I do believe the being together and the laughter were enough to cover that. Relationships were made; bridges built, walls brought down and best of all kids got to go and spend the night with someone "new". If you would have asked me even a year ago; did I think that such a weekend would come about with "this side" of the family; I would have laughed and said something along the lines "when hell freezes over". I am so very happy to have been blessed with such a time. And I can't wait to do it all again in a year. Hopefully by then we will be able to add another kid or 2.

Being out here has brought to light for me just how very much I treasure my relationships with each of you. Wether it is by email or in person. I have been so blessed by each of you and the things you have brought into my life. I still have so many things I want to do; and I hope to be able to do some of them while I am here. The stories about the animals are daily for me. Some are very little and some require their own chapter. But each one is special in its own way. I get to watch incredible things happen right outside my front door. Things such as "Sticky" and how he continues to amaze me. I love my little green tree frog. He sits outside everyday and takes life so easy. He is my little mentor. I can go out there and talk to him and he just listens; he is so good at that. And who would of thought that I would look forward to going to "Randalls" on a Saturday. We are getting up early to drive 80 miles to a store that I know has decent "meat". You would think that I was going to "Fiesta Texas"; I promise you that is what it feels like to me. It is almost so wonderful I feel like I should "prepick" my outfit to wear. And on top of everything else it is a "GRAND OPENING". Let me just say that living in the country gives a brand new meaning to going to town. When we first moved here we froze our brand new bank account with Bank of America. From the way they put it; you would have thought we wrote "HOT" checks for a living. It took 2 weeks to convince the bank and Wally World (WalMart) that we never bounced anything. And second this was not our first checking account. First I called Bank of America and threatened to close the account if they did not reissue new checks beginning with a higher number. This was followed by a call to "Telecheck" and tell them that the reason most ALL of our checks were to WalMart, is because it literally is the only place in this little town that has everything you need. Reality is; it seriously is. There is NO place in town that has a decent grocery place. If you want something good and fresh like I used to get at HEB; well I have yet to find one anywhere close. Hence why we are going to Randalls. Back to the "rest of the story"; I had to talk with an Executive at Telecheck and explain this to him. He told me we had been flagged for writing so many checks to WalMart; and that the check number series was low. Steve ( our exec) said he has never run into this before; I calmly explained that he has never met me; I was assured that the flag would be removed immediately and check writing could begin again. I promise I could have done a news story on this. The good thing is that everyone including myself survived this ordeal. Well I better get to bed; gotta big day ahead tomorrow.

Hugs and Blessings,

Me

Karen Martin

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.

Richard L. Evans " -

Life lessons in the country

Well Dale and his Dad finally finished the fence around the yard; and it looks so awesome. I got to go to the store by myself today; and on the way I was watching people and how they just did things "slowly". I have to admit slowly is not how my life used to be. And in some ways it still is not. But I so miss my "kiddo's". There will never be another group like the ones I left behind. Dale said if we needed him to, he would go and get a job. So instead of trying to find kids to care for I am going to concentrate on "Health". And share MonaVie with people. Believe or not people here are very interested in it. I saw a huge racoon and he was so handsome. The wild life out here is abundent; and very interesting. Not to forget to mention that life in general is pretty peaceful. I am beginning to really enjoy putting the house together. This weekend we will be having our 2nd annual Family Reunion. The storms up here are amazing to watch; even during the day. I can sit at our kitchen table and watch the storms roll in. I love being out on the porch and seeing it all occur. Today I got to watch Dale chase cows in the rain; he looked so funny. And what was even funnier was that 2 cows (one was Karen) stand there and watch him. They would look at one another as if to say; "yep its one of those 2 legged things again; acting like he's big stuff, doing all that hollering at the others. What da ya think Karen should we tell him that he looks funny? Naw Gertie; let the poor chap think he's doing something smart." Then after Dale got in his truck they wondered off. But they stood there and watched as he shouted at the others. There is so much I miss but there is so much to appreciate here. Even though we have had some really hot weather. And the cows ate my plants. Oh I have to tell ya; the bugs out here are more than I ever had in Austin. I mean you step out our front door and you are under siege by thousands of 4 to 6 legged flying "yuchey's" I mean they are all over you. So after fighting them off we decided to invest in bug war materials. Country style. It meant buying "stink" bait type stuff; and a light that will Zap them. It has helped tremendously; now in the morning we just have to sweep off the porch. Unless you like to "crunch" everywhere you walk. I recall after the first night of having placed all the "bombs" around; I went to let the dogs out extra early and walked out barefoot......Not again. Especially in bare feet. We're learning; we're also the new entertainment in town. We went in to ask (at the Tractor store) how can we keep the bugs away. You would have thought that I had just made the funniest joke ever. I was told "young lady (thank you sir) thare ain't no such contraption that will keep the bugs away; ya have to learn to live with them. You can sort of control them; but ya ain't gettin rid of them". Then he told me about the "stinky stuff" to use. I do believe a babie's diaper doesn't smell that bad. Or maybe it does and I don't remember. Oh well; take care and give hugs to all. Blessings, Karen Karen Martin "Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.